Category Archives: Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming

The Duggars – My Thoughts

I’ve debated long and hard whether I wanted to touch this story.  For me, it’s brought up a ton of old feelings.  Seeing the comments and opinions swirling all over the internet has sometimes had me cheering and sometimes had me wanting to bang my head into a wall. The first thought is about those …

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The Hospital Incident

I remembered something the other day.  I had to have surgery quite a few years ago.  Shane was just a year old and still nursing frequently.  I knew that the surgery would require me to stay overnight at the hospital.  The doctor would not budge about that no matter how much I protested that I …

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The Puppet Master

I came up with an analogy today that describes the abuser’s way of looking at his relationship with his victim. He is the Puppet Master and his victim is his puppet.  He pulls the strings in a wide variety of ways to make her do exactly what he wants.  The only problem with this is …

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He Was Sadistic

I’m reading an article about orgasms right now.  As I was writing my last post, I started wondering how often women actually orgasm during sex.  I’ve heard that it isn’t as often as one would think.  From what I’m reading, intercourse only sex rarely produces orgasms.  Usually it is intercourse plus something else that results …

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Luke is Coming!

It was getting to be time for Luke’s visit.  The closer it came to him actually being here, the more nervous I was becoming.  I was worried about everything – especially the getting naked in front of him part.  I hadn’t been naked in front of any man besides Bubba in over two decades. Bubba …

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How Do You Know?

“How do you know?” I can’t tell you how much I hate that question.  So much of the time, when I would say something, Bubba would respond with, “How do you know?”  I would then have to defend myself and what I’d just said.  Even when I had the research or information to back me …

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Watching “Gaslight”

I visited my neighbor today and as I was looking through her movie collection, I saw that she owns Gaslight.  I immediately asked her if I could borrow it as I’ve been wanting to watch it for a long time now.  I’ve wanted to see the movie that coined the term. It was extremely hard …

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Psych Evals AKA Another Form of Torture

I had my psychological evaluation (psych eval) a few weeks after our second court date.  The judge had ordered them to all be completed by a month before our third court date.  I thought that after mine was done, the children’s would follow quickly.  Again,  I was wrong. I was very nervous about my psych …

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The Other Woman

The Guardian ad Litem (GAL) said in her report for our second court date that Bubba ultimately would like to reconcile with me but he understood that it was no longer an option.  He told her that I was a good person and mother but something had happened to change me – I wasn’t the …

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The GAL’s Report

When we’d last gone to court, the Guardian ad Litem (GAL) had a report all typed up and she presented her findings to the judge – even though I was not allowed to be in this hearing. I could tell from the tone of her report that she believed Bubba.  He openly admitted to her …

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