Category Archives: Emotional Abuse

The Duggars – My Thoughts

I’ve debated long and hard whether I wanted to touch this story.  For me, it’s brought up a ton of old feelings.  Seeing the comments and opinions swirling all over the internet has sometimes had me cheering and sometimes had me wanting to bang my head into a wall. The first thought is about those …

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The Hospital Incident

I remembered something the other day.  I had to have surgery quite a few years ago.  Shane was just a year old and still nursing frequently.  I knew that the surgery would require me to stay overnight at the hospital.  The doctor would not budge about that no matter how much I protested that I …

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Jewelry

I was driving home for lunch today and I started thinking about all the jewelry I own.  I have some truly beautiful pieces.  I have rings, necklaces, and earrings that haven’t seen the light of day in years.  Before the divorce all I wore was a small pair of gold earrings and my wedding band.  …

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The Aftermath

WARNING:  This gets graphic too! Luke left Friday morning. Watching him drive away ripped my heart out. I wasn’t ready to let him go yet. I was stunned to discover that I didn’t even have time to be sad at his leaving or to sit and just roll around in the memories of his visit. …

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Processing Headaches

I sometimes get headaches when I process things; the same kind I used to get all the time while Bubba and I were still together.  I’m also dreaming again although mostly, I don’t remember them.  I know I’m dreaming though because I’ll wake up with a vague, uneasy feelings and my covers are all over …

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Terms of Endearment

Yesterday Sean’s son Andy came over to play Xbox with the kids again.  I was in my room, on my bed, painting my nails.  Andy called my name and came into my room.  He quietly said that his dad and he were going to see a movie and he asked if he could ask Serenity …

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How Do You Know?

“How do you know?” I can’t tell you how much I hate that question.  So much of the time, when I would say something, Bubba would respond with, “How do you know?”  I would then have to defend myself and what I’d just said.  Even when I had the research or information to back me …

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Watching “Gaslight”

I visited my neighbor today and as I was looking through her movie collection, I saw that she owns Gaslight.  I immediately asked her if I could borrow it as I’ve been wanting to watch it for a long time now.  I’ve wanted to see the movie that coined the term. It was extremely hard …

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Mind vs. Heart

A journal entry from less than a month after the divorce: I was baking yesterday.  I made a chocolate cake and two batches of scones.  I was also texting with Luke.  I love to tell Luke when I’m baking.  Yesterday part of our exchange went like this: Me:  The peach scones are in the oven. …

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Comparisons

Endellion and I were talking on the phone yesterday.  She was telling me how her mother only ever saw the bad in her and the good in her sister.  Endellion’s mother was an abuser and viewed her husband the way Bubba viewed me – as the enemy.  Endellion told me that over and over she …

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