Category Archives: Coercion and Threats

No Counseling!

I read something from a woman who is questioning whether or not she is being emotionally abused by her husband.  The evidence is as clear as the nose on her face that she is but she can’t see it yet.  The abused woman canNOT see that she is abused until she is ready.  This woman …

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The Puppet Master

I came up with an analogy today that describes the abuser’s way of looking at his relationship with his victim. He is the Puppet Master and his victim is his puppet.  He pulls the strings in a wide variety of ways to make her do exactly what he wants.  The only problem with this is …

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Offending Those I Love

Along with yesterday’s post about Boundary Setting, I also had to learn to take people at their word.  I’d learned my lesson early to always put everyone’s needs over and above my own.  Once I was free from Bubba, I started to learn (thanks in large part to Liz, my therapist) that my needs were important …

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The Aftermath

WARNING:  This gets graphic too! Luke left Friday morning. Watching him drive away ripped my heart out. I wasn’t ready to let him go yet. I was stunned to discover that I didn’t even have time to be sad at his leaving or to sit and just roll around in the memories of his visit. …

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Fly Away From Here

Yesterday Serenity and I were in the car and a song came on that pulled me back in time. We used to live near an airport; this was when the children were really small. Even though I loved where we lived, I was completely miserable.  I was solo-parenting because Bubba was working about 80 hours …

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Rape – Yes, It Happens in Marriages

About 2 weeks after I realized that Bubba had been raping me, I was able to start counseling at our local domestic violence agency.  My counselor was Liz, an intern.  I met her first at the support group meeting.  It was nice to meet her this way because it wasn’t one-on-one and I got to …

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Power and Control Wheel: Coercion and Threats

COERCION AND THREATS: Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her. Threatening to leave her, commit suicide, or report her to welfare. Making her drop charges. Making her do illegal things. Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt her.   Bubba didn’t make overt threats to hurt the children or …

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