Category Archives: Married to an Abuser

An Old Writing I Found

I was digging around in my computer last night and found the following writing.  It was written at least eight months before The Incident.  I had realized that the FOO was dysfunctional but I was still trying to operate within the confines of the relationship.  I remember becoming increasingly frustrated with the dynamics but not …

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The Meeting

I went to a mom’s group meeting last night.  Usually I greatly enjoy these meetings.  I get to hang out with a bunch of like-minded moms and talk about all things kids, babies, and mothering. Last night, we were sitting around having a great conversation when the topic of sex came up.  One woman said …

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Bad Laws – Part 3

As I was getting ready for my date last night, Endellion and I were on Skype and we both discovered a few more Bad Laws that needed rewriting right away. Our main premise is as follows: Our previous relationships were with assholes, and therefore are not indicative of future relationships. Bad Law #12 – My …

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Ruining Things For Everyone

Over the summer, my friend Hannah introduced me to a friend she’d met at college.  Danielle is 20 years old and going through some rough times right now.  She came out to her family and they, in turn, disowned her.  Her relationship with her girlfriend is really rocky as her girlfriend is verbally abusive to …

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No Counseling!

I read something from a woman who is questioning whether or not she is being emotionally abused by her husband.  The evidence is as clear as the nose on her face that she is but she can’t see it yet.  The abused woman canNOT see that she is abused until she is ready.  This woman …

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The Hospital Incident

I remembered something the other day.  I had to have surgery quite a few years ago.  Shane was just a year old and still nursing frequently.  I knew that the surgery would require me to stay overnight at the hospital.  The doctor would not budge about that no matter how much I protested that I …

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How Did I Get Myself Into This?

“How did I get myself into this?”  was a question that played over and over in my mind in the months after I’d left Bubba.  Exactly how does one find herself in an abusive marriage with a complete inability to recognize it for what it was? The answer started to become clear to me when …

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Loving Bubba

I’ve had quite a few emails about how much the survivor still loves her abuser – even after she’s left him, making it hard for her to not go back.  I know I haven’t brought up this topic before but I feel I need to address it now. Did I love Bubba?  Do I still …

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The Happy Place

I found a way to cope with the pain (both mental and physical) of the rapes. Before God saved me, I would fantasize that Bubba was someone else.  I had a laundry list of celebrities I used to fantasize about.  I have a very active imagination and if I close my eyes, I can see …

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Pain

I want to issue a warning about this post.  I am going to be very open and honest about the pain in my life and about how that pain, both mental and physical, followed me into the bedroom. For years and years I lived with chronic pain.  I had headaches about 5 times a week. …

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