The Guest List

The guest list is where we hit a snag.  We’d decided that we could have 50 people fit comfortably in the house and backyard.  I don’t have any family to invite so I thought it would be easy.  The thing I wasn’t considering was that with friends and co-workers, I easily went right over my allotted 25 people.  I guess we had more figuring on that than we initially thought.

It would seem simple.  We each get to invite 25 people.  Only it didn’t work that way.  You see, Melanie is estranged from her brothers due to manipulations of her mother during the divorce. Melanie said that in order to feel comfortable being around her brothers again, she wanted to invite nine people to act as a buffer between her and her brothers.  I was floored by this.

Treun and I had agreed that each of the older children could invite one person.  When Melanie wanted to invite nine, Treun was considering letting her.  I told him it wasn’t fair to the rest of the kids who we told could only invite one person each.  We’d already talked about it and decided that if the kids wanted to invite people over to swim after lunch, we were fine with that but for the ceremony and lunch, we had to stick to one guest per kid.

Treun and I went around and around about this.  He has a huge blind spot where Melanie is concerned.  There is a bunch of divorced dad guilt there that he deals with by giving Melanie whatever she wants.  Only in this instance we just didn’t have the wiggle room to let her take up that much of our guest list.

Our wedding was scheduled for the last day of the month.  The items that I ordered were coming in.  There were plates and cups, personalized napkins, the invitations.  I ordered some decorations.  We planned where we’d put the buffet and the cake.  I bought tablecloths for both tables.

The guest list was growing and growing.  We were well over 50 people and we had to start eliminating people.  I had wanted to invite my boss and the other four women in my department.  I crossed them off the list and struggled with how to tell them.  Treun crossed off work people too.  We crossed off people who wanted to fly in from out of town. Treun had talked to Melanie and told her she couldn’t invite nine people.  She decided on the three most important friends that she felt she needed with her that day.  I’d already told Serenity that she might not be able to invite someone and she understood that, though Melanie was a few months older than her, she was being a little less mature about this.

I don’t know how many tears I cried over the guest list and Treun’s reluctance to put his foot down with Melanie.  This was our wedding.  We got to say who did and didn’t get an invite.  I couldn’t get him to understand that inviting people to someone else’s wedding is rude.  You just don’t do that kind of thing.

To combat the stress, I decided to remodel the powder room.  I told Treun that for one weekend we weren’t going to do anything wedding related.  I didn’t want people coming into the house for our wedding and see peeling wallpaper in the powder room.  He agreed.  We found a gorgeous vanity at Home Depot and ordered it since it was only available online.  It would be in before the next weekend so we’d take a few days to make it beautiful.

We worked well together in the powder room.  I did the bulk of the wall paper removal.  It is something I enjoy because I really hate wall paper.  It felt good to get all my frustrations about the guest list out on ripping down the ugly paper.  Once I figured out a method to get it down, it was a breeze.

The pedestal sink was easy to remove.  There were some holes and dings that I had to spackle.  Once it dried, I sanded the walls.  We were ready to paint.  We’d picked a nice shade of light green.  I bought lavender spray paint to paint the white shelf that had been in there.  It took us the majority of Saturday to do all of that.  I’d been ripping the wallpaper down in the evenings after work so by Saturday afternoon we just needed to wait for the walls and shelf to dry.  The vanity would be installed on Sunday.

I’m amazed at how easily Treun and I worked together.  There was no stress at all during this small project.  We work instinctively together and rarely get in each other’s way.  It’s almost like we’re participating in a well choreographed dance.  We had to cut holes in the back of the vanity for the pipes.  We had to install the new faucet on the sink.  We had to put everything together.  It took quite a few hours to do it but we got it done.

I remembered that a friend of mine had made me a rag rug that I thought might work well in the room.  I brought it over to Treun’s house once the powder room was complete and to our great surprise, a rug that had been made five years previously matched the colors in the room perfectly.  We had a gorgeous new powder room to show off to our guests.

We just had to get back to whittling that list down.




    1. Jury Duty….Really? | Hope Wears Heels
    2. The Guest List Diminishes By Two | Hope Wears Heels

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