Holidays are Weird

Holidays are weird.

I don’t have my kids with me at every holiday anymore.  They are now split between time with me and time with Bubba.  I get one Christmas, Bubba gets the next.  He gets one Thanksgiving, I get the next.

The kids and I have adapted.  We celebrate Christmas on Christmas Day during my years and a few days later on Bubba’s years.  For us, the exact holiday isn’t important anymore.  It is the family time that we have together, no matter which day the holiday is celebrated on.

This year Bubba had the kids for Christmas, so I got to spend Christmas Day with Treun and his family.  His daughter-in-law’s parents host Christmas Dinner each year and graciously invited me to attend with Treun.  I was really nervous to go to this big family dinner.  Noble and his girlfriend would be there too!  I was fighting feelings of being the outsider.

I wanted to spend the day with Treun so I agreed to go.  How bad could it be to spend a few hours with his family?

The answer is: it wasn’t bad at all!  In fact, it was fun!  We had a nice meal then sat around talking and laughing.  They are all very nice people and it was pleasant to sit around and talk to people who genuinely like one another.

After a bit, we opened gifts.  I was shocked to find there were gifts for me!  I couldn’t believe that people I’d never met before took time to get Christmas presents for me.  I really started to feel like I am becoming a part of Treun’s family.

Still, I felt the absence of my own family.  It felt weird to be having fun without my kids with me.  It felt weird to remember the old family Christmases when I thought things were fine with my own family.  It still feels weird to remember the good times that I had with my family because I can’t go back.  Those days are over and I am striving to make new traditions and memories for me and the kids.

Yes, holidays are now a bit weird, but we’re making fun new memories and as the years pass, hopefully, it won’t feel quite so weird.

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