Thoughts of the Future

Treun, Shane, and I had a wonderful day yesterday.  Shane had a Cub Scout function to attend and I’d asked him if he wanted it to be just him and me or if he’d like to invite Treun along.  He very excitedly said that he wanted Treun to go with us.

We spent two hours with the Cub Scouts then decided to leave because Treun and I were both hungry.  We picked a place to eat and Shane began complaining about it. He was very vocal about the fact that he didn’t like the place we picked and very rude about it.  I sat back and watched as Treun told Shane that he was being rude and explained how he could voice his opinion in a manner that would not be rude.  It is amazing to me to watch this man teach my son how to be a man.  He is so gentle with him and he explains things.  He doesn’t shame Shane or make him feel bad.  He is simply teaching and mentoring.  I love watching Treun interact with Shane.

We spent some time at Treun’s house, just hanging out and talking.  I washed Treun’s dishes while he straightened up a bit.  He had a friend coming in for a few days so he was getting the house in order.  Shane hung out and played a video game while we worked.  It was just a relaxing afternoon.

I took Shane home and got him to bed.  Serenity and Liam each had a friend over so I told them I was heading back to Treun’s house as he wanted me to meet his friend.

When I got there, I told Treun that a bubblebath sounded like a great idea since his friend would not be arriving for a few hours yet.  He said, “You know, it really does!”  I love that Treun is even willing to half boil himself so that I don’t freeze in the tub.  I don’t make the water nearly as hot as I would if I was alone in the tub but it is still a little too hot for Treun.  He runs so warm and I run so cold that we have trouble finding a happy medium in either the tub or shower.  He’s so sweet that he’ll put up with hotter than he likes water for my comfort.

As we were relaxing in the tub, he once again brought up remodeling the bathroom.  I saw a chance and I took it.  I said, “This house has so much history in it.  You said your daughter talks to you even less since you told her about me, what would she think about having other people in the house with you?”  He was quiet for a moment then started talking about turning the house into a rental.  He couldn’t sell the house during or after the divorce because the market had tanked so badly, so he set about making it his house instead of their house.  He had considered turning it into a rental back then but decided not to since he was already living there and didn’t want to move at that point.  He said that if we decide to move in together, he would want to turn it into a rental.

After his friend arrived, he was giving his friend a tour of the house and he said the same thing to his friend.  “If we decide to move in together, I’d turn this into a rental so that we could have a ‘Hope and Treun’s place’ instead of being here.”  He wants to start over with me!  He was walking into the garage as he said it so he didn’t see the beaming smile on my face, but I’m pretty sure his friend saw it.  I don’t know of anything else that could’ve made me happier.

I was going to call Endellion and tell her last night but by the time I got home, I was too tired to call her.  I called her first thing this morning and told her. She said, “Hope.  When are you going to trust that he loves you?  When are you going to see that the things that you worry about work out because that is who Treun is?  When are you going to realize that he won’t respond to you the way Bubba did?”  I don’t know.  He continues to confuse and confound me with his normalness.  I’m still trying to get used to the surrealness of him being a good man.  I’m still learning to trust that he is who he says he is.  I need to remember this the next time I get all angsty about something.

I wasn’t going to bring it up again, I truly wasn’t.  But I couldn’t let that opportunity pass.  I was content to know that he loved me…..for a few weeks.  I really thought it was enough for now.  I really did.  Until it wasn’t.  I want to spend the rest of my life with this man.  I want to know if he feels the same way.  No, I don’t think I’m ready for the whole, “I want to marry you and be with you forever” talk, but I needed to know how attached he was to his house.  I needed to know which was more important to him – me or the house.  I got my answer last night and I’m so deliriously happy about it.  He thinks about us, the future, and how that would look.  He even told his friend about talking to Shane and said, “That’s what happens in blended families.”  He’s shown me a few times already that he views us as a family and he just reinforced it now.

We are his and he is ours.

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