One of Those Moments

Did you ever have a moment where you are just completely over come with awe; you feel the whole of your soul well up with every good thing that is in your life and it just leaks out of your eyes?

I had one of those moments last night.  Treun and I were snuggling in bed, watching t.v., while we just stroked and touched each other.  I still think this is one of the best parts of our relationship – we both love to touch and be touched.  I was gently stroking a certain part of his anatomy because the soft skin just feels so good under my finger tips.  He said, “I don’t think anything else is going to happen this evening.”  I told him that I just liked the soft skin and I was perfectly content otherwise.  Considering we’d already had sex twice yesterday, I really didn’t have any expectations of anything happening again.  I was just enjoying touching him and having him touch me.

After a bit, things progressed, shocking both of us.  As he gently entered me, I could feel that moment arriving.  I knew that we were both tired and that having sex again was not something that Treun needed.  He was sated from earlier.  He was doing this singularly for me.  He strives to make me happy.  He enjoys the smiles and giggles of delight that he elicits from me.  I have never had someone do things to make me happy simply because it brought them joy to do so.  My soul was over come with awe and love and affection for this man who so obviously cares for me.

As we moved gently together, I couldn’t stop the tears that began leaking from my eyes.  The only light in the room was from the t.v. so I hoped he didn’t see.  I kept my face buried in his neck.  When he rolled over and pulled me on top of him, I knew the hope of keeping it hidden was lost.  As I moved and enjoyed the sensations, the feelings of love just kept growing.  This man, this sweet, gentle, loving man was with me because he chose me.   He found me and I’m so grateful that he did.  As I leaned down to kiss him he whispered, “Are you ok?”  For a moment all I could was rest my forehead against his and nod my head.  When I could speak, all I could say was, “No one has ever cared about my happiness like you do.  I’m just a little overwhelmed by it right now.”

Then he kissed me with all the love he feels for me.  It was another defining moment in my life.  I felt another piece of myself heal last night.

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2 Comments

  1. Diane

    I don’t mean to sound rude but how is this different than when you had sex with “Bubba” just because he wanted it and you classified it as abuse or rape? If Truen didn’t want sex should he be doing it just to meet your needs as you did for “Bubba”. Personally, I don’t see it as abuse but through your viewpoint, it confuses me.

    • The difference is that with Bubba, he coerced and bugged me until I gave in or I offered to keep the peace. There were huge consequence for me not giving Bubba sex when Bubba wanted it. Treun made his decision to have sex with me solely on his own. There was no coercion on my part, there was no expectation on my part, and there certainly wouldn’t have been any nasty consequences had we not had sex again. I was perfectly content with us just touching each other that night. He made the move to have sex again because he knew it would make me happy. He didn’t feel he had to, he WANTED to.

      Another example would be doing dishes. With Bubba, if they weren’t done, there would be hell to pay. I hated doing them but I did them first because no one else would and second because if I didn’t, he’d be furious and take it out on me and the kids. Nowadays, I don’t hate doing dishes any less but I will wash Treun’s dishes as an act of love. He has no expectations of me doing his dishes but I see it as something I can do for him to show him how much I care about him because I know he hates doing dishes too.

      One situation is an act of trying to mitigate worse abuse, the other situation is an act of love.

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