First Unofficial “Family” Dinner

Let’s discuss nerves.  My nerves.  My anxiety.  Ugh.

A new t.v. show was starting and since I don’t have t.v. and Treun does, he invited the kids and I over to watch it.  I told him I’d throw dinner in the crock-pot and we’d head over after work.  We planned to spend the entire evening together.  We’d eat at his house – a meal I prepared – me, my kids, and Treun.

It was time to freak-out!  Because this was going to be our first unofficial “family” dinner.  We would sit around the table and share a meal.  What could go wrong?  Oh, only every thing!

You see, I have a great ability to see the worst possible outcome in every situation.  I can see Murphy’s Law coming a mile away.  I had visions of Shane raging, Serenity and Liam being attitude-y teens, me crying about it all, and Treun realizing he can’t deal with the mess that is my life.  Yes, I could see everything falling apart because of one meal.

After work, I rushed home to collect the children and the food.  I was still a nervous wreck but the thought of seeing Treun, of spending time with him, calmed my nerves.  Treun has shown me over and over that he is not easily frightened.  He is not going to run away if this meal goes to all hell and back.  That just isn’t who Treun is.

Dinner actually went amazingly well.  The kids still fought because the older two don’t want Shane around.  Since Treun’s house is so large, they found a spot to hunker down and just enjoy the space we don’t have in our own house.  Shane, of course, wanted to be with his siblings.  Treun got his son’s old legos out and we got Shane involved in playing with the legos in the living room.

Dinner was yummy.  Treun really likes the meal I made so I was quite pleased with myself.  After years of watching Bubba grudgingly eat what I prepared it is most pleasurable to watch a man enjoy my cooking as much as Treun does.  The children really enjoyed the food also, so it was one more reminder that I was not deficient in the kitchen – it was all about Bubba back then.

The children talked and Serenity was actually participating in the conversation and laughing with us.  She seemed relaxed in way I haven’t seen her be in a very long time.  It seems that she is liking Treun whether she will admit it or not.

After dinner, I did the dishes while the kids went off to their own places in the house.  Treun and I talked while I cleaned up.  It still makes me giggle that I’ve made myself so at home in his house.  His kitchen is becoming so familiar to me and I’m comfortable cooking and cleaning there.

When I was done with the dishes, I got Shane into the shower.  He’s been fighting taking showers lately so I thought showering at Treun’s house might be fun for him.  He actually loved getting a shower in Treun’s shower.  I’d taken along his pajamas and clean underwear so that he’d be ready for bed before our t.v. show came on then we could leave immediately and he could go straight to bed once the show was over.  I taught him how to work and adjust the water, then left him in there to shower while I snuggled with Treun on the couch.

We ate ice cream before the show started and the kids were thrilled to find that Treun urged me to give them more ice cream than I normally do.  Since we haven’t had much ice cream lately, I decided to give them a bit more, especially because I normally only give them two small scoops.  They got three small scoops each and were quite thrilled with this!

We watched the t.v. show then packed up and left.  Our unofficial “family dinner” and evening together went wonderfully.  Nothing bad happened so I’m going to have to work hard to stop thinking “worse case scenario” all the time.  I need to rewire my brain and realize that none of the catastrophic things I’ve thought might happen have ever happened where Treun is concerned.

I’m looking forward to many more of these dinners.  I’m looking forward to just being with Treun more and more.

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