Monthly Archives: October, 2013

Exchange Approaches

The extended visitation is over tomorrow.  Tomorrow, I have to drive to get my children back from Bubba.  This means that sleeping this week has been all over the place.  I toss and turn and have nightmares.  This week my dreams have been peppered with more than their fair share of Celia and Butch.  Usually …

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Sexuality and Identity

“Do you feel like your sexuality is part of your identity?” is a question that was posed by a friend.  She is struggling with how her celibacy affects who she is as a whole.  Is she denying part of herself?  Is she wholly herself if she is not expressing her sexuality in a sexual relationship? …

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A Good Way to Say “Good-Night”

Yesterday was a long day.  Treun’s son, Noble, moved from a furnished apartment to an unfurnished apartment in the city.  Treun wanted to take his bedroom furniture, an extra couch and recliner he had, some kitchen things, and various other pieces of furniture to him.  Instead of renting a truck that would’ve been ridiculously expensive, …

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Will He Be Their Dad?

I was talking to Endellion the other evening and I told her that I feel this need to ask Treun if he is ready to be my kids’ Dad.  You see, my kids have a father but they don’t have a Dad.  They have someone who is related to them biologically who is pretty much …

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He Doesn’t Get It

Treun just doesn’t understand.  He doesn’t get it.  He will never understand abuse and I’m struggling right now with whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.  I simply don’t know. Endellion insists it is a good thing because that means he has no experience with abuse, he has no frame of reference.  …

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Mind-Blowing Sex

I remember the times that Luke and I talked about mind-blowing sex.  Back then, I honestly had no clue what that was and truly believed that I’d never experience it.  He told me he’d had it before and I remember being so jealous – of the fact that he’d had it and moreso, the fact …

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Happiness and Trepidation

I carried out my plan last night.  I got a small heart prism and gave it to Treun.  He now has my heart and he knows it. It’s been over a week since we’ve seen each other.  We were both eagerly anticipating being together again.  I’m still slightly perplexed to believe that he missed me.  …

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No More Regrets

I was rereading some of my old posts and I came to the one about Regrets.  I got to thinking about it and wondering what has changed since I wrote that – what regrets would I have now if I died today. Well, I told Luke how I felt about him so there’s that one …

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Drinking with Endellion

Endellion and I had a date Friday night.  It’s been so long since we’ve had an evening to Skype and drink together because I’ve been so busy with Treun.  I feel badly about this and I need to make an effort to make sure that Endellion and I continue our date nights.  I don’t want …

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Child Support Issues Again

Bubba hasn’t made a child support payment in six weeks.  He’s $7K behind in child support now.  I often wonder what he thinks about this debt he has to me.  Does he think it will just disappear once the kids turn 18?  I know he doesn’t feel like he should have to pay anything because …

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