Lazy! Lazy! Lazy!
That is the refrain that is playing in my head. It is noon on Sunday and here is what I’ve gotten done today:
- Dyed my hair
- Baked two loaves of bread
- Have two more loaves rising
- Two pie crusts made and in fridge
- Clean dishes put away
- Dirty dishes washed
- Mixed up laundry detergent
- Two loads of laundry going
- Grocery list finished
- I’m showered and ready to go
I have to do the grocery shopping yet. I have another two loads of laundry to do. I have various other chores that need done. I look at that list and think that I should have so much done but I don’t have it done yet because I’m Lazy! Lazy! Lazy!
You see, I’ve also spent time online, checking facebook, writing, talking to a couple friends, and listening to music. I’m working steadily but I’m taking breaks and just being.
Somewhere along the line I got the message that if I’m not putting every single minute to good use doing work of some sort, then I’m Lazy! Lazy! Lazy! I know exactly where I picked this attitude up. I got it from Celia. I was so often accused of being lazy that it became deeply ingrained in me. Also, Celia held herself to this personal standard and I heard her say of herself that she was being lazy if she sat down for a minute, even if it was to rest. Where did she get this idea from? That I don’t know. It seemed to be deeply ingrained in her so much so that she passed it along to me.
Granted, when I was younger I never understood this or actually cared that I was being lazy. I know I went through my life feeling like I was a terribly lazy person. I went through my life feeling that no matter what I got done, it was somehow never enough. I always felt like I wasn’t measuring up. I just didn’t understand why.
Now I do. Now I see that taking time to relax is important! It isn’t being lazy to have a day that I take time for me to do just nothing. If I want to sit and do nothing but surf the net, I am allowed to do that without all the self-recriminations. I work hard! I work a full-time job and take care of my kids when I’m not at work. I clean, I cook, I parent. I do all the things myself. Yes, I’m entitled to have times that I do nothing. And actually, I’m not doing “nothing.” I’m preserving my mental health. I’m preserving my physical health by not running myself ragged. I’m preserving my over all well-being by taking care of me – by doing nothing.
Celia and her messages can go take a hike. I know how hard I work. I know that my accomplishments are important and not to be downplayed by counting all the things that I haven’t actually gotten done yet. It is important to see the things I’ve done. To count those, count the accomplishments, that is what matters.
I’m not lazy. I get things done. I just also take time to smell the roses! Because roses are important!
p.s. at the end of the day I can add to the list the following:
- Baked two more loaves of bread (four total)
- Washed/dried 4 loads of laundry
- Grocery shopped
- Baked a pie
- Washed more dishes
- Made spaghetti sauce for tomorrow’s dinner
- Cleaned out the cat’s litter box and scrubbed the floor
I am NOT lazy! Not by a long shot.