Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday to me! Happy Birthday, Dear Hope! Happy Birthday to me!
Truly, this has been the best birthday I’ve ever had. I don’t remember another birthday where I’ve felt so loved and cared for. I don’t remember a birthday where I didn’t dread the gift because I knew it would be something that I didn’t want and couldn’t be honest about. I don’t remember a birthday where I didn’t feel like the birthday gift came with a price tag.
I had to work today. I managed to get through the whole day without anyone finding out it was my birthday. I didn’t want anyone to know. I didn’t want a fuss made over me. I feel confident in saying that this actually doesn’t stem from the abuse. It simply isn’t in my personality to want people to make a fuss over me. I was in a ridiculously good mood all day. I had fun chatting with my customers. I made one of my co-workers laugh when I told one of my customers that he’d reached his two question limit and I simply couldn’t answer any more questions. He’d called to ask me something and I had to get back to him. When I got the answer and called him back, he asked me two more things. When my co-worker got to laughing, she got me laughing. It was very hard to continue the conversation while trying to hold in the laughter.
After work, Serenity took me to dinner for my birthday. She drove and she paid for dinner. She’d told me I could pick anywhere I wanted to go but knowing she doesn’t have much money, I picked a burger joint that I knew wouldn’t break the bank. WE TALKED!!! It is the first time that I felt like Serenity and I have actually connected in a long time. She opened up to me about something that had happened to her the day before. We had a good conversation.
After dinner, I dropped Serenity at Greta’s house. I walked her up because I hadn’t seen Teri and Greta’s new apartment yet. Teri and I got to talking and we chatted for about 30 minutes. I’d told Treun that I was going to drop Serenity off and be right over to his house. I should’ve been there in about 15 minutes. When I walked out of Teri’s apartment 30 minutes later, I texted Treun to tell him I got to chatting with Teri and I was on my way. He responded and said, “It was probably good for both of you.” I just looked at my phone like I didn’t understand. He wasn’t mad at me for getting caught up talking to a friend and being later than I’d said. What? Huh? Really? What a difference in what I’d become accustomed to.
When I got to Treun’s house, he told me he had something in that bag for me. I was looking out into the dining room, thinking, “I don’t see a bag.” Well, the bag was right on the coffee table in front of us and it was really small. I peeked in and saw a jewelry box. So many emotions went flying through me in an instant. Among my jumbled thoughts were:
Holy shit! What is this?
It’s too soon for a ring!
What am I gonna do if it’s a ring?
Do I really want to open this?
What if I hate it?
What if I love it?
What is he seeing on my face right now?
Oh, just OPEN IT, for Pete’s sake!
I carefully pulled the box out of the bag and very slowly opened the box. Sitting in the scarlet velvet was the most beautiful pair of amethyst earrings I’ve ever seen. I’m by no means a jewelry person but they were perfect for me! I actually think I squealed! I was absolutely delighted with them and with this man who got me something that, though not something I would’ve asked for or even thought about, was perfect for me.
I quickly took out the earrings I was wearing and put my new ones on, showed him, then went running for the bathroom to look at them. I’m used to wearing very small earrings so they seemed huge to me but they are so me! My earlobes have never been so pretty! I own some very nice jewelry because Bubba didn’t skimp on gifts in the beginning of our marriage but I never had such enjoyment from a gift of jewelry. Treun’s eyes lit up watching my joy. There was no look in his eye of judging whether I was showing appropriate gratitude or gushing about how great he’d done. There was only pure happiness in the joy that I felt at his gift. He was happy that he had delighted me.
A bit later we rented a movie and got ice cream. Then we stopped at the store so he could buy me a pillow for his place. His pillows are too big and fluffy and I don’t find them comfortable at all. Instead of taking my flat, barely there pillow when I want to spend the night, he just bought me another flat, barely there pillow. We both laugh that our tastes in pillows is so vastly different. He can’t sleep on the pillows I own and I can’t sleep on the pillows he owns. Now I have to figure out where to buy one of those huge, over stuffed pillows that he uses so he doesn’t have to bring his to my house.
This birthday has been amazing in so many ways. It seems that each little experience with Treun somehow heals another piece of me – puts another piece of my mosaic in place. Could I heal without Treun? Most definitely as I’ve been doing just that all this time. Can I heal with him in more ways that I could’ve imagined? Most definitely as being with a good man is the only way to truly comprehend that good men exist.
Happy Birthday to me!