Sharing Sleep

Treun and I have been spending weekends together.  Usually it is just one night each weekend but this weekend was different.  I slept-over at his house both Friday and Saturday nights.

We’re still trying to get used to sharing sleep space.  It’s been so long since either of us has done this that it is taking some getting used to.  At first, I couldn’t get comfortable because I didn’t like his pillows.  This weekend I took my own and that helped a bit.  I’m also struggling because his bed is smaller than mine.  I never thought there was much of a difference between king and queen beds but when you are sharing that bed, there is a huge difference.

One of the things I wanted in a partner was for him to want to snuggle for a bit, but then he’d be ok giving me my own space when it came time to actually sleep.  Imagine my delight when that first night, we snuggled up then Treun extricated himself from me and said he liked to sleep in his own space.  I was delighted as I was thinking the same thing.  During the night one or the other of us would snuggle up to the other for a few minutes but we’d ultimately retreat to our own side for serious sleeping.  Even so, we’d both slept fitfully.

This weekend I proposed an experiment.  I asked him to switch sides of the bed with me.  He readily agreed as he can sleep on either side.  I wanted to see if having my pillow, on my side of the bed helped at all.  Amazingly, I slept rather well this last time.  I had more room to stretch out and was just more comfortable on “my” side.  The only thing that I didn’t like was that when Treun wakes up and rolls over, he rolls to his left.  With me on “my” side, he rolled away from me.  I missed the middle of the night snuggles, although I think that may have been one of the reasons I slept better.

I slept so well, in fact, that I slept through Shane texting me at 1 am.  Treun said he’d heard my phone but didn’t wake me up when he saw that I slept through it.

It is taking time but we are getting more used to sleeping together.  The sad part about it is that it will come to an end when the boys get back from Bubba’s house.  There will be no more sleep-overs because I’ll be parenting the children 24/7 again and I can’t count on Bubba to take his monthly visitation.  According to our parenting plan, neither Bubba nor I can have overnight guests that we’re involved with (although Bubba repeatedly ignored this when he had his girlfriend) so I can’t have Treun stay here once the boys come home.  I don’t have anywhere to have Shane spend the night, so I won’t be able to sleep over at Treun’s house again.

I guess we’re just going to have to enjoy the time we have while it lasts.  We’ll have to steal time away once school resumes and I get back into being “Mom” again.  The good thing is that Treun and I have talked about it and he wants to include my children as much as possible.  He has a real heart for kids and sees it as something a man should just do to help kids along when they can.  Just as I tend to mother everyone, he tends to father everyone.  This is just another way we are compatible.

I’m just truly amazed that I’ve found a man who not only wants me, but he wants my children as well.

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