An Amazing Experience

When I got done with work today, I texted Treun and told him I was done and on my way home. He asked if Serenity and I would like to go to dinner.  I asked Serenity and she said that she wasn’t really hungry but she’d go anyway.

Dinner was so good.  The food was good, but the company was better.  Serenity participated in the conversation and seemed to enjoy herself.  After, Treun asked if we wanted to go get some ice cream.  Again, we sat and talked while we had our after dinner treat.  It was a fun, relaxing evening.

Treun dropped us off and sat and snuggled with me on the couch for about 30 minutes while Serenity was looking at old pictures in her bedroom.  Treun and I got to kiss and talk and just enjoy being together.  At about 7:50 he said he was going to head home because one of his favorite t.v.s shows was coming on at 8:00.  I walked him out to his car and kissed him good-night.

I came in the house and Serenity told me that she was going to see a movie with her friends and that she was possibly spending the night with one of them.  I texted Treun and told him that I was about to have a night alone.  He called and asked if I told him this because I was happy to be alone or because I wanted company.  I told him company would be welcome.

He’d just walked into his house and he heard me say good-bye to Serenity.  Two minutes later, he was on his way back to my house.  I called Endellion to tell her that he was coming over and to talk to her about a couple of issues that I need to write about.  He got here and I was still folding laundry that Serenity had dumped all over my bed.

We quickly got undressed and fell together onto the bed.  Oh, it was glorious having him in my bed.  After awhile we discovered that getting older and taking certain medications can make things a little difficult.  We snuggled and talked for a bit and tried again.  It still wasn’t working for either of us.

Here’s where it gets really amazing!

It wasn’t my fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He acknowledged that with the medications he’s taking, it affects some aspects of life – this happens to be one of them.  There was no blame assigned to anyone.  Treun didn’t blame me and he didn’t blame himself.  This is just a fact of life.  This is just the way it is tonight.

I think my mind was completely blown by this.  I didn’t feel myself getting anxious or worrying about what was just not happening.  I was relaxed and enjoyed being with him for him.  He was enjoying me for me.  Yes, sex is wonderful and we both look forward to sharing it again soon but for tonight both of us were completely ok with just snuggling, caressing each other, and talking.

I’m seeing what life with a good man is like.  Even the times that Bubba was on anti-depressants that affected his ability to “get the job done,” it somehow ended up being my fault because I wasn’t working hard enough to get him there.  It was laid solely at my feet because I should’ve been enough to overcome the side effects of the meds.

Now here is this man, having the same problem that Bubba had and he wasn’t blaming ME!  What a novel concept.  I am so glad this happened tonight.  I needed to know that I am not stronger than biology and that I’m not expected to be.  Treun has realistic expectations.  He was fine with the way things happened tonight.  I was fine with the way things happened tonight.  We actually laid there and talked about it.  We communicated!

This is one of the best things that could’ve happened tonight.  One of the voices of the Ghost of Abuses Past has been laid to rest tonight.  I’ve defeated another voice and I’m happy.

What an amazing experience!


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