Serenity Becomes a Real Teenager
Serenity and I have always had a really good relationship. We’ve both commented that she isn’t a normal teenager. We’ve never really had the angsty ick of teenagerhood to deal with.
Well, it’s blown up all over the place. Serenity snapped the other day and slapped Shane. She seems to have been itching to do it and finally took her shot. She texted me and told me to come home NOW and that she couldn’t handle him anymore. It was five minutes before the end of my shift, so I told her I’d be home as soon as I got off work.
When I pulled in the drive-way, both boys came running to go with me as I had an errand to run. I got an earful in the car. They are both tired of Serenity. She’s been mean and nasty and attitudey lately. It hasn’t been pretty at all and the boys are sick of her.
Welcome to being a regular teenager, my dear Serenity. Endellion and I discussed it and we have a theory. We think it is has taken this long for Serenity to finally feel safe enough to feel her feelings. Not only is she at an age where the persecution complex is in full swing but she’s feeling all the feelings of all her ages bursting from within her being. She has so much pain in her and I don’t know how to help her.
She’s still in counseling and we’ve seen her doctor and started her on anti-depressants. After two weeks, the a/d aren’t doing anything for her. Per her doctor’s instructions, we doubled her dose the other night. We’re going to give it another week before I call the doctor and discuss it with her.
Serenity doesn’t like me right now. I’ve really never had to give her rules or enforce consequences because she’s never done anything that really warranted them. Now she finds herself with a curfew and limited access to her friends. She’s been getting progressively worse since I believe her and her one friend are feeding off each other. Her friend’s mother and I aren’t completely cutting off their contact, but we are putting limits on it now.
There is one part of this that greatly amuses me and that is the fact that Serenity understands that she is behaving like a typical teen. She was complaining yesterday about the injustice of it all and then said “I hate being a normal teenager! This sucks!” I had to agree with her. Being a teen is hard! Being a teen with an abusive father and years and years worth of abuse to work through is a hell I can’t even imagine.
Bubba continues his mind games and tries to continue to exert control over Serenity. She doesn’t talk to me about it much but what she does share makes me want to call Bubba up and read him the riot act. How dare he treat his children like this? It is one thing to treat me the way he did/does. But how can anyone treat their own flesh and blood the way he treats his children? I’m fighting tooth and nail to protect them and he’s actively hurting them. I just don’t understand. It makes me very angry.
For now, Serenity and I muddle through. We talked the other night and have decided to devote Sunday evenings to each other. Whether we snuggle up and watch a movie, go for a walk, or just sit and talk, that is going to be our time. I’m praying it helps us reconnect and hold fast to each other while she goes through this.
I pray that I have enough strength to walk beside her as she finally begins her healing journey.