Second Date with Bachelor #5

Treun and I went out again on Sunday.  It was a rainy, miserable day and he suggested strolling around the mall and having lunch in the food court.  I really don’t like walking the mall because I don’t have money to buy things but it’s always fun to people watch and I thought it might be interesting to window shop with him.  A friend suggested that I could actually learn a lot about him by what he looked at in the mall.

He offered to drive and I took him up on it because not only do I hate to drive, I wanted to see what kind of driver he is.  Bubba was a horrible driver.  He drove like he owned the road and was very aggressive about it.  I’ve decided that if I really like someone, a driving test is a necessity.  If road rage or aggressive driving is involved, I’ll move on.  Happily, I can report that Treun is a good driver.  He even knows what a turn signal is and actually uses it!

We went into Sears and ended up looking at appliances! I thought that was the funniest thing ever.  He told me about the new fridge he’d just bought and we talked about how we’d come to be in possession of our current appliances.  We looked at patio furniture because he’s thinking of buying some new stuff.  He has a pool in his backyard so he wants to get a table and chairs and possibly an umbrella or canopy.

We had lunch in the food court and sat there long after our food was gone, just talking.  We walked around and continued our conversation.  He has a very zen view of life.  Even in all the craziness that my life involves he reminds me that things won’t always be like this.  Life is full of drama but it ebbs and flows.  He reminds me to pick the good stuff out while working through the bad stuff.  I even told him that I can’t live like happy is the only acceptable emotion.  I told him that I’ve finally learned to feel all my feelings and I love being able to do that – even when I’m currently hating the more negative emotions.  I told him what Arcadia had said about treating the negative emotions like labor and he compared it to having a heat sink.  Holy Toledo!  He gets it!  He understands my need to feel all the feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!

As we were standing there, he noticed that it had cleared up and the sun had come out.  He suggested moving to the park to walk around.  I readily agreed.  We drove to the park near where we live (bonus that he lives only a few miles from me).  He was going to one park and I suggested another park because there would be less people and more room to walk around.  He had no problem turning around and going to the park I suggested.

We walked around the pond a few times then sat on one of the benches.  I took my shoes off and curled up, comfortable in this man’s presence.  I’m finding that for me, curling up is something I do now when I’m comfortable.  It is no longer a protective measure for me.  It is my natural way of sitting.  I also found myself touching his arm a few times.  It was after the third or fourth time I’d gently touched his forearm that I realized what I’d done.  It was a jaw-dropping moment for me.  I was definitely just being me, comfortable in my own skin, comfortable with this man.

It was getting close to bedtime for Shane, so I told him that I really needed to get home.  We held hands during the ride home.  When he dropped me off, he touched my back and said “With your strong sense of body boundaries, I’m going to let it up to you when, and even if, we kiss.”  I cocked my eyebrow at him and said, “I’ll keep you posted.”

A bit later I texted him and asked him if he really was ok going at my pace.  He said he is trying to be sensitive to what I’d gone through and thoughtful of my experience so yes, he is totally ok with it.  So far, he is showing that he means it.  He hasn’t texted anything out of line.  I haven’t had the vaguest feeling of being uncomfortable with anything he’s said; in person, on the phone, or in text.

I’m being cautious.  I’m not getting my hopes up.  I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Can a man really be this respectful and caring and put together?

I guess time will tell.


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