Friday Night

Steve and I decided to meet at his house on Friday to eat dinner and watch movies.  Both of us are snugglers and we just wanted to snuggle up together for awhile.  It is something we’d been talking about.  Strangely, I wasn’t at all nervous about going out to his house.  Even though he is  quite a large man, I felt safe.  I’m also confident when I say no man will ever touch me again if I don’t want to be touched.  I’m not afraid to defend myself and I would defend myself if needed.

When I got there, he dished up dinner.  He’d gotten Hibachi since it is his favorite and I like it too.  We ate, all the while he kept his hand on my knee.  It is quite obvious that his love language is physical touch.  Since it is also mine, I see this working in our favor!  The meal was good and the conversation better.  He is so easy to talk to.  I’m at ease with him.

After we ate, we moved to the living room to look at his movie collection.  I narrowed it down to three movies.  Then I immediately eliminated one because it was a romantic comedy and I’m just not ready to watch one of those with him.  We both knew there would be no kissing because I still had thrush so we didn’t need to be watching something with lots of kissing in it.

Since I narrowed it down to two movies, I looked at him and mischievously asked, “Do you think we can sneak two in?”  He grinned and agreed that it was a good idea.  We got the first movie going and snuggled up together.  It felt so right to be there with him, in his arms.  He felt the same thing because we both heaved big sighs at the same time.  Then we started laughing.  It was one of those perfect moments.  We’d just relaxed into each other together.  Sheer bliss.

Steve chuckles at my texts because I’ll insert random emotions into them.  <grinseartoear>, <pouts>, <raiseseyebrow> just like that.  Well, I’d talked him into turning on the subtitles and all of a sudden he starts laughing.  Right on the screen was (Heart beats loudly).  He said, “It’s just like your texting!”  He was highly amused by that!

At one point, he leaned over and kissed my neck.  I moaned.  I couldn’t help it, it just happened.  Well, that spurred him on to kiss it more.  Well, I don’t know that I can call it kissing.  He made love to my neck.  My brain turned to mush.  I’d worried that what I felt when Sean touched me would never happen again.  I was wrong.  It is different though because there is no feeling of wrongness in this.  There is no sense of doom and dread.  There is only mindless bliss when Steve touches me.

We made it half-way through the second movie when we started talking.  We didn’t pay any attention after that because we were just wrapped up in each other and sharing ourselves.  I still find myself asking, “Who is this man?”  and “Where did he come from?”  I knew that not kissing me was hard for him but he doesn’t want to cause me pain.  He isn’t selfish in his desires to the exclusion of me.  He wants me there with him, enjoying it as much (if not more) than him.

We were together for six hours.  Six blissful hours that it was just the two of us and the outside world simply didn’t exist.  Leaving him was hard.  I just want to be with him.

He’s becoming addictive.

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