Shane’s Hell Breaks Loose
I got a call at 2:25 on Monday from the school. As soon as I saw the school’s name pop up on my phone I knew it wasn’t anything good they were calling about. It was the principal. Shane was in the principal’s office and had lost complete control. He was raging and destroying the office and he threatened to kill the principal.
I told the principal that we were in the middle of lunches and I couldn’t leave till 3. I told him he’d just have to deal with him for another 40 minutes until I could get there. I didn’t want to leave just two co-workers covering the phones since one of our team was on vacation. My co-workers had heard my call and urged me to leave. I talked to my boss and she told me to go.
I was at the school ten minutes later. I walked in the office to watch Shane take his arms and just sweep everything off the one table and hit the Assistant Principal with the books that he’d strewn about. I immediately jumped in to restrain him. He was in such a rage that one of the other teachers that was in the room had to help me with his feet. It was like wrangling a rabid octupus. There were just too many appendages flying around and I simply couldn’t contain them all.
It seemed to take forever for Shane to regain control of his body so that I could stop supplying external control for him. Once he got control, I step-by-step let him go. He snuggled up in front of me and took my hands and pulled them around him in a bear hug. He does this often after a rage. I don’t know whether he doesn’t trust himself to remain in control or if he just likes the connection. Whatever his motivation for it, we stayed like that for about 30 minutes – until school had let out and all the rest of the children had gone.
I took him home, fed him, and actually had to text with Bubba to get the kids’ insurance information. I was taking Shane to the ER and demanding that they admit him. I’ve requested insurance information from Bubba FIVE times! FIVE!!!! He continued to tell me, “I’ll have it this week. I’ll let you know.” then another week would go by. Well, I found out that he’d never actually gotten their insurance information worked out!
After having been in the ER for a couple hours, Bubba finally let me know that the kids would NOT, in fact, be covered by insurance until mid-month. Whereas the doctors had been looking for a place that could take Shane, it all came to screeching halt when I told them I found out Shane wasn’t covered. Apparently, Shane was miraculously cured because they then told me to take him home as the crisis was past and they felt he wasn’t a danger to himself or others. What? Really? They swore up and down that he was fine and could find no reason to admit him but I know it simply came down to money.
Thankfully, the Assistant Principal texted me to get an update on Shane and asked if she could ask the school social worker to call me. I asked her to please have her call me as soon as possible, I’d take any help I could get. My phone rang five minutes later. The Social Worker (SW) was so kind. I told her my fears that if I didn’t get him admitted that CPS would be called because he was a danger to my other children. She assured me that that would NOT happen. She also asked if she could contact our local state counseling agency and try to get Shane an appointment since he wouldn’t be admitted. I started crying. She was taking this seriously even if the ER personnel weren’t.
Shane was discharged and we headed home. This was his second ER trip in under 6 months. What is it going to take for this hospital to take him seriously? I even looked at the doctor who told me he wasn’t a danger and asked her, “When are you going to help us? After he actually kills someone?” She had no answer for that other than the crisis had past and he wasn’t a danger. Ugh!
The next day, I called the state counseling agency and left a message with little hope of them returning my call. A few hours later, I got a call from the SW. She gave me the name of the woman at the agency I was supposed to contact. She said that she’d told the woman the situation but didn’t breech confidentiality so the woman would not know my name. I’d have to tell her I was the woman that SW had talked to her about. I left that woman a voice mail, again with little hope that the call would be returned.
To my great surprise, she called back within the hour with an appointment for Shane in just one week. I ran it by my boss and she okayed my time off.
Shane will be on meds next week. It is that simple. I’m not willing to do this anymore – waiting for the next explosion. I know it is probably going to be a lot of experimentation with meds before we find what works for him. All I know is that my baby is suffering. He hates when he rages and loses control. He wants to get better. He wants to do better. He needs help and I’m going to move heaven and earth to get it for him.
Sadly, I know the biggest obstacle is going to be Bubba. I’ve had Shane on meds before and then Nancy got involved and told Bubba all the dangers and that if I really wanted to, I could treat him naturally. Bubba refused to give Shane his meds last summer because he listened to Nancy. I just sent Bubba an email telling him that we may have joint legal custody but I have final say. If I choose to put him on meds and he refuses to give the meds to Shane for whatever reason, I will call CPS and report him for medical neglect. I’m simply not going to allow my crazy sister, my Family of Origin (FOO), or even Bubba himself to undermine my authority in this and to put Shane and everyone around him in danger.
Mama Bear is fighting for her cub. Woe to the person who gets in my way.
- Posted in: As Life Continues - My Story Now ♦ Bubba's Antics ♦ Second Year Divorced ♦ Using Children
- Tagged: abuse, abuser, abusive dynamic, anger, children, crazy, deadbeat dad, emergency room, failure to provide, family, Family of Origin, help, insanity, insurance, lies, parenting, Power and Control Wheel, principal, psychiatric help, rage, school, sister, social worker, textbook