I Think He Likes Me

Ok, I *know* he likes me!  That’s good because I really like him too.

After our date, Steve and I texted a bit more.  He said he’d be up late since he didn’t have to work on Sunday.  I asked if he had Skype or Yahoo IM since it is easier for me to type at a keyboard instead of on my phone.  I gave him my Skype name.  He gave me his Yahoo name and told me that he couldn’t get Skype to load on his computer.  We chatted via Yahoo on and off during the day but it seemed to lag in delivering my messages to him.  We also texted a lot.

Before our date, I had worried that, even though I enjoyed texting and talking to him, I wouldn’t feel anything chemistry-wise when we met.  I kept telling myself that I really didn’t have to worry because I felt absolutely no chemistry with Sean until he kissed me.  Once he kissed me, the chemistry was amazing!  I tried to keep that in mind even while I was wanting an instant chemical attraction to Steve.  When Steve walked around that corner and I got a look at him, I was pretty sure I didn’t have to worry about it.  He is my idea of what a real man looks like in every way.

In the course of our texting on Sunday, Steve said that he really had a good time and that we seem to have a lot in common and even some chemistry too.  I totally agreed with him.  He said that he was looking forward to our first kiss.  I told him that we had time and it wouldn’t happen until we were both comfortable with each other.  He said there is no pressure but he could think about it until it happens.  When I read his text about looking forward to our first kiss, I took a punch to the gut.  Wow!  I had been thinking the same thing (which surprised me) and to see that he is thinking the same thing….well, it had all kinds of zings running through my body.

I’m at war with myself now.  I really like Steve.  I really want to see if we do have chemistry.  On one hand, I want him to kiss me so badly that I hope it happens on our second date.  On the other hand, I’d like to wait a bit because there is still that concern that I’ll freeze if I’m not more comfortable with him.  It is one thing to decide to lower the armor plating and force field and get a hug.  It is another thing entirely to participate in a kiss with a man I’ve only met once, even though we’ll have been texting every day and talking on the phone for nearly three weeks by that point.

The one big thing that is driving me to want that kiss during our next date (which is Friday night, BTW) is because if there is nothing there, I want us to both be able to move on.  He seems like he is looking for a long-term relationship.  I’m to the point where I think I’d be on board with that.  But I’m not willing to settle.  I want a man who is everything that I want.  I’ve been asking God to bring me the perfect man for me.  No, he doesn’t have to be perfect, but he has to be perfect for me.

Is Steve the one who God is sending to me?  I simply don’t know.  I know that he meets so many of my Man Wish List criteria.  Yes, I have a Man Wish List.  I was talking to Endellion and saying that Steve seemed to meet so many of the criteria when I had to run back in my house and double-check.  Of course, there are things on the list that I simply won’t know for a long time, but so far, he’s doing really well.

One thing I’ve noticed about Steve is that he uses my name.  “I had a really good time last night, Hope.”  or  “I’m going to bed.  Sweet dreams, Hope.”  or  “How is your day going, Hope?”  When he was walking away Saturday night after he hugged me, he said, “I’ll talk to you soon, Hope.”  He doesn’t overly use it but he uses my name.  To me, that is huge.  I’m a person to him.  He identifies me as me.  I wish I could describe the thrill I get every time he says or texts my name.  To be recognized!  To be acknowledged!  After so many years of being referred to by my status as a possession, it is mind-blowing for a man to refer to me by my name.

I’m really trying not to get too excited about Steve.  I’m also failing pretty badly at it.  The truth is that I *am* excited.  I’m nowhere near ready to state that Steve is “The One.”  But I see a possibility here.

Is he?  Maybe.  That’s enough for now.

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