Date With Bachelor #3

Steve and I finally went out on a date!  It was two weeks in the making since I had a nasty cold last weekend.  I really didn’t want to take a chance of him getting my germs and sharing with his son.  We text every day and we’ve spoken on the phone a few times.

He has a thick Southern accent.  Sometimes it is hard to understand him on the phone because it is so pronounced.  Just from a few things he’s said, I’m convinced he’s a redneck.  He’s very intelligent and quick to laugh.  He has a firm faith in God.

I think it almost goes without saying that I was terrified of this date.  I’d so enjoyed texting and talking with Steve that I was nervous.  Endellion and I had to rewrite some more Bad Laws right before I left for our date.  That helped immensely!  It calmed the terror down to just nervousness.

As always, I arrived really early.  It is impossible for me to be on-time or late for anything.  I will consistently be way too early for anything.  The traffic on the road I had to take to the restaurant is usually heavy and it normally takes me a good 15 minutes to get down there.  Last night, the traffic was very light and I got every single green light along the way.  I arrived about 25 minutes early since it only took me 5 minutes to get there.  I drove to the grocery store next door and parked there for a bit.  I texted Steve and asked how close he was.  He was still 10-15 minutes away.

When he texted that he was about 5 minutes away, I asked if he wanted me to go in and get our names on the list since it was packed.  He said sure, so I drove over, parked, got our names on the list, and sat down outside to wait.

I’d been sitting there for about 3 minutes when I saw a vehicle waiting to turn in that looked like he’d described his.  My phone rang.  It was Steve, calling to tell me he was looking at me.  I’d been right!  That was his vehicle.  Oh, the nerves really shot up then.  He could see me but with his tinted windows, I could not see him.  He pulled in and drove to the back of the restaurant to park.  Butterflies took over at that point!

When he walked around the corner, I couldn’t help but smile.  His pictures did not do him justice.  At all.  He looks so much younger in person and he is huge!  He is all man and built exactly how I like.  He walked with grace and confidence for a man of his size.  He really is tall!  He saw me and I think his smile matched mine.  We shook hands and he asked if I wanted to go inside since it was chilly outside.  We opted to stand inside.

We had less than a 30 minute wait and we ended up finding chairs to sit in after about 10 minutes.  We talked the entire time we waited.  He is very easy to talk to.  Conversation flowed naturally and I felt immediately comfortable with him.  He is Bachelor #3 from this round of dating, but he is the fifth man I’ve met through dating websites.  He is the first one I’ve felt comfortable with and not awkward around.

He has a really nice smile.  He also has a big nose, which fits his face and I find strangely attractive.  He’s slightly on the teddybearish side but not overweight.  His build fits his height.  He was dressed in jeans and a button-down shirt.  During dinner he revealed that his sister had taken him shopping and helped him pick some new clothes because she thought he needed to be a little more stylish since he had started dating.  There was a genuine affection there when he talked about his brother and sisters.  His eyes positively light up when he talks about his son.

He said he wanted to be up front and let me know that he’d been married twice.  He told me that the break-up of his first marriage he takes responsibility for.  He said he was very young and spent too much time away from home.  He didn’t put the time into it that he should’ve.  His second marriage failed because his ex had a terrible case of post-partum depression and instead of getting help for it, she chose to take drugs.  He was so concerned for his son that he ended up taking nearly a year off of work to take care of him.  He’d had enough in savings to be able to stay home, so he did.  He said his son changed his life.  He has his priorities straight now and is a different man than he was when he was younger.

The strange thing is that I believe him.  I sat there wondering if he is as a genuine as he seems or if he’s just that skilled at lying.  I found myself really leaning toward believing that he is genuine.  I didn’t see any of the charm and schmooze that seems to ooze off of Bubba.  I didn’t see him working hard to try to convince me of anything.  He was very matter-of-fact and open about it.

I did end up telling him that I left because Bubba got violent and that woke me up to the abuse I’d lived with.  I told him that I spent a year in counseling and am still working on myself because my children deserve one healthy parent.  He said he knows every family has crazy in it but he agrees – children deserve one sane parent and he knows that parent is him.

When we were done eating and he paid the bill, we walked out.  We’d both had to park way in the back of the parking lot so we walked out together.  At my car, we said good-bye and he hugged me.  I DIDN’T FREEZE!!!!  I actually hugged him back.  He smelled even better up close and personal than he did in the restaurant.  It was a nice hug and I enjoyed it.

We texted some more after he got home.  I thanked him for a lovely dinner and he said he enjoyed himself and that he hopes we can do it again.  I readily agreed.  I’m really looking forward to another date and to getting to know him.  I’m trying not to get too excited but it isn’t working.  I am looking forward to getting to know this man and to allowing him into my world.  The armor plating and force field have been removed and in their place is a healthy sense of my body boundaries.  I now know I can handle this.

I woke up this morning thinking of Steve and smiling.  I think that is a very good sign.



  1. tryingtodogood

    This is wonderful! No matter what happens, it must feel good to be enjoying living without armor, to be real. Your posts and responses have been so encouraging to me. I am routing for you Hope 🙂


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