Hard Day

I do not know what is up with today but I think I’ve had every difficult question at work this morning.  I have so much to do and no time to do it.  My boss said I could work overtime anytime I needed to.  I need to; I just can’t this week.

Today I get my car back from the shop.  They are finally done with it after having been in a wreck.  I need to do that right after work and then get home to make dinner.

Let’s discuss dinner.  I’d planned to make something in the crock pot.  I got home at lunch and saw the crock pot sitting on the stove.  I’d forgotten to actually put anything in it except for one ingredient.  I now have to throw that away.  I’m so disgusted!  I just got busy this morning with getting ready for work, fixing Shane breakfast, getting Liam out the door, and just doing the general morning rituals.  I know I’m being hard on myself for forgetting to finish putting food in the crockpot, but I realize I tend to beat myself up still.  I guess since Bubba isn’t here to do it for me, I do it for myself.  I need to stop and I’m working on it.

It’s just been a supremely bad day.  I think what makes it so bad is that I’m feeeeeeeeeeling all the feelings.  There they are, just like they should be in a normal person who has feelings.  Only, I’m not used to them.  They still tend to freak me out a little.  I’m stressed, I’m still hurting about Sean, everything seems difficult today.  I’m just feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions.

Today is a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.  I do not want to go to Australia though; I want to go to Fiji.

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2 Comments

  1. Hang in there and please don’t be so hard on your self. 🙂

    • I’m finding that since I don’t have Bubba and my family around to beat me up on a regular basis, I tend to beat myself up. I’m working on it, but it’s hard to be gentle with myself sometimes.

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