Monthly Archives: March, 2013

My Teen Years

In Celia’s letter, she brought up how I was as a teenager.  She admitted to giving me the silent treatment and guilt trips during “those” years, implying that it was my fault because we all know how horrible I was back then.  She also said if these are abusive things, then she thinks she was …

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WTF? I Don’t Get It!

When Sean and I talked yesterday and I asked him what was going on with us, he said we could still be friends.  I asked him twice why he disappeared  on me and neither time did I get an acceptable answer.  At one point he told me that he can’t take being teased to all …

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Closure and Irony

Since Sean just disappeared on me again well over a week ago, I’ve been yearning for closure.  I was over at his house over the weekend to see Andy and once again, Sean and I circled each other and barely interacted.  His mom said he was in a lot of pain and is always grumpy …

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Someone Throw Me a Life Preserver

Yes, I definitely feel like I’m drowning.  I can’t save myself and the current is just getting stronger and stronger and I’m getting pulled under more and more.  I need a life preserver. I called the doctor today and they were closed.  Ugh!  I’m finally to the point where I felt ready to ask for …

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Once Again, Endellion FTW

I finally talked to Endellion about suspecting that I’m depressed.  Yes, I’ve felt so miserable for the past couple of days that I didn’t even want to talk to Endellion about it.  That, I think, is when I started to scare myself.  She read what I wrote here about thinking it is time to admit …

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Dreams of a New Car

I’m currently driving a minivan that is well over a decade old.  To say it is falling apart is rather an understatement.  The back doors are finicky and don’t like to work all the time.  I have to hit the front button control to let Shane out because his handle no longer works.  The one …

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God’s Miracles

I know that people today doubt the existence of miracles.  I am living proof that miracles happen today.  God has provided me with so many miracles that I doubt I could count or remember them all.  I will endeavor to try. Through everything we have endured, God has continuously provided for us.  We always had …

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Spiritual Abuse

As with everything else I’ve tackled since leaving Bubba, I do not feel ready to tackle this issue.  I’m actually quite terrified by the thought of confronting this.  I love God.  I’m just scared of His people. I was thinking about it this morning and I had a big light bulb moment.  The Christians I’d …

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Is It Time?

It’s been a bad few weeks.  From feeling like the vilest evil was living in my gut to how I feel right now, it may be time to admit that this is not going to get better on its own.  It may be time to admit that I just can’t do this anymore. I don’t …

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Tentatively Texting Again

Luke texted me a couple of weeks ago. It was a celebratory text that I think may have been sent to everyone in his contacts. At first, I didn’t know what to do with that. Do I respond? Do I ignore? After agonizing over it for a few minutes, I decided to respond. We had …

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