I refuse to be Biology’s bitch.
Endellion and I were talking about it the other night. Why do we feel such a need to have a man? Why do we want sex so much, especially from people we shouldn’t want it from? Well, Endellion’s answer was that it is simple biology. We may not believe we are compatible with someone but our bodies know who we are going to be sexually compatible with. It’s biology.
I told her that I didn’t want to be Biology’s bitch. I don’t want to want sex. I don’t want to want a man in my bed. I’ve learned that Friends With Benefits (FWB) is not something that works. Someone always ends up feeling more than the other person and then someone gets hurt. I don’t want another FWB situation but it looks like I might NEEEEEEEEED it.
My body, after being asleep for so very long, is quite awake and it is getting demanding. Yes, I’ve learned that masturbation is a good thing. I can now do it without feeling shame. I can now do it without feeling dirty and like I’m doing something horrible. I know that it is natural. I simply can’t escape the feeling that it is the most lonely thing I’ve experienced. I want someone in my bed with me, someone to share pleasure, someone to share sighs and laughter and gentle words and, or course, orgasms!
Yes, it is biology that makes me ache and yearn for sex. It is biology that has zings of desire flowing through my body when I merely see a picture of Luke (although I’ve made myself stop looking at his FB pictures because I know it isn’t good for me right now). And it’s biology that now has me eyeing Sean, thinking that he’s interested, he’s convenient, he’s willing, and oh hey, by the way, he’s a damn good kisser.
It all happened Saturday night. The last of the Crown Royal was involved. Need I say more?
Let’s just say that it’s looking like I am, indeed, Biology’s bitch.