Thankful For My Friends
I’m so very thankful for my friends. I’m thankful for the hard questions they ask – even when it leads to me ripping my hair out, trying to find the answers.
The hard questions help me grow. They cause me to sit and examine my thoughts, my actions, my feelings, and my goals.
My Family of Origin (FOO) said that my friends only tell me what I want to hear and that they agree with everything I do. How wrong they were. As a family, they will NEVER step in and ask those hard questions. They will never give a contrary opinion because they fear someone getting mad at them or making waves. The only time they felt the need to state their opinions was when I was escaping from my box. Someone stepping outside of the dysfunction was the only thing that made them finally step up and say what they thought.
I think the only reason my FOO felt comfortable with stating their opinions so firmly was because I’d always thought the same way they did. They weren’t saying anything the old Hope would’ve argued with. And when I refused to get back in my box, they said that my friends were only telling me what I wanted to hear, even though they couldn’t possibly know what my friends were telling me. They thought I was being controlled by my friends. Obviously, since I was no longer being controlled by them and Bubba, I must’ve been being controlled by someone else. They apparently could not stomach the thought that I might be thinking for myself.
The truth is that my friends pointed out when I was wrong, they asked (and continue to ask) the hard questions. They challenge me, they make me think. And I’m so grateful to them for that. I know that I wouldn’t have grown as much as I did if they didn’t ask questions that made me question my thought processes. Had they not stood up and challenged me, I wouldn’t have questioned myself. I wouldn’t have grown. I’m glad that I have awesome friends who will speak up when they feel led to. I may not like the questions they pose to me because the growth that comes after them are sometimes quite painful, but I love them for them anyway.
I love my friends because they genuinely love me for me, not for how they can control me. They want what is best for me. They aren’t afraid to ask those hard questions (well, they might be afraid but they do it anyway!). They’ve called me out when I was wrong and they’ve most definitely not told me everything I want to hear. There were times that I wanted to stick my fingers in my ears and holler, “LA! LA! LA! LA! LA! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!!!!!!” because I knew the question would end up hurting me as it helped me heal.
No, my friends don’t just tell me what I want to hear. They love me enough to tell me what I most definitely didn’t and don’t want to hear.
I’m so blessed. I’m so thankful. I have the best friends in the world!