The Semester Ends
Finals were finally over. I just had to wait for my grades for Anatomy and Physiology (A&P) and Stats. Since the final in Nutrition was optional, the professor told us that if we already had an “A” we actually weren’t allowed to take the final. Since she offered bonus points during the semester and I’d done so well on our large project (tracking our diet for a week then analyzing what we were doing correctly and what we needed to improve on), I had an “A” in the class. I asked her for my final score and was thrilled to find out that I had gotten 103% in the class. Bonus points totally rock!
My MedTerm final was online and graded immediately. I hadn’t been shooting for an “A” in MedTerm simply because I didn’t have the time or energy to devote to it. Arcadia and I laughed our way through the class because the professor was just that bad. He mispronounced words and sent us into fits of giggles repeatedly during the semester. I got a 92% on the final so I finished the semester with a 95% in MedTerm. Not too shabby.
When I took my A&P final, I asked her when I’d be able to find out my grade. She didn’t think she’d have them graded that day but she said to stop by her office in the early afternoon to check. I told her that I wouldn’t be on campus and asked if I could stop in after my Stats final the next day. She said she wouldn’t be in but would be in her office right before my Stats final. I was torn about finding that out right before taking a test. If I’d done poorly would that affect my ability to concentrate on taking my Stats final? I told her I’d be there. I simply couldn’t NOT know how I did on the final.
I don’t actually remember how I did on the A&P final because she told me what my overall grade was first. I had 101%!!! She said that I’d had 99% but she decided to bump everyone up two percentage points on their final grade. Then she told me what I’d made on the final. I was so shocked at having gotten 99% that I don’t think I heard anything else. I’d done that well in the most failed class on campus! She took one look at me and said, “You are not allowed to cry! I do not have any tissues in my office so you aren’t allowed to cry!” She told me she knew how hard I’d worked in her class and she wished everyone would work that hard.
When I showed up for my Stats final, I asked her when she’d have the tests graded. She said she was leaving campus immediately after our final and wouldn’t be back on campus at all for the semester. I would just have to wait until she posted my grade online. I took the test and asked her if she could email and let me know which ones I missed because I was certain that I missed the one about the fish. I just could not remember how to figure it out. She asked if I had a few minutes to wait and I did so she corrected my exam while I waited in the hall. Surprisingly, I got the fish problem right but missed another one I didn’t think I had wrong. Two days later I found out my final score was a 97% in the class.
Just in case you missed it and just because I still like seeing my grades:
- Stats – 97%
- A&P – 101%
- Nutrition – 103%
- MedTerm – 95%
I’d just proved to myself that Bubba was so very wrong about me. I was damn smart! I was worthy!
And I was pissed!
I got those grades while also going through hell. I was a single Mom, I’d lost my entire family, Bubba was trying to convince the Guardian ad Litem (GAL) and psych evaluator that I was a mentally unstable, adulterous, abusive alcoholic, I’d had to give up an amazing friend, and I’d finally gotten through the divorce.
How much could I have accomplished had I been married to a loving, supportive man who encouraged my dream to return to school? How much could I have accomplished had I had a partner to help shoulder the task of raising the kids and taking care of the house while I studied? It pissed me off that I’d spent so long with a man who didn’t value me as a wife and partner. Ah hell, he didn’t even see me as human. I was simply a piece of his property.
I was learning that I didn’t need someone to hold me up. Yes, my friends were amazing and helped me tremendously. But as far as having a partner, husband, well, I was doing just fine on my own. I learned during the semester that I was smart and quite capable. It was a lesson that I desperately needed to learn.
I am smart. I am capable. I can rock this!
- Posted in: As Life Continues - My Story Now ♦ First Year Divorced ♦ Friends ♦ Power and Control Wheel
- Tagged: abuse, abuser, abusive dynamic, abusive marriage, college, confidence, divorce, finals, friends, guardian ad litem, healing, I can do this!, Luke, marriage, married, ownership, Power and Control Wheel, success