In the past I’ve told Luke that I’m still going, still trudging along, still putting one foot in front of the other simply because I don’t have any other choice. Luke responds and tells me that I always have a choice. I can see where he’d think that but I highly disagree with him. Sure, …
I sometimes get headaches when I process things; the same kind I used to get all the time while Bubba and I were still together. I’m also dreaming again although mostly, I don’t remember them. I know I’m dreaming though because I’ll wake up with a vague, uneasy feelings and my covers are all over …
I had two major tests to take during the same week I got divorced. That was quite a week! I’m still so thankful that I had understanding professors who allowed me to arrange my schedule to accommodate my scheduled court time. I’d been allowed to postpone my A&P exam until the end of the week. …
Right after Luke broke my boundary by having Sam text me, I wrote this about my anger: I had counseling yesterday. I had a lot to talk about, most of it centered around the horrific five days I just had. I’m… well, I don’t exactly know what I’m feeling now. It is a tangled mess …
I wrote this a few days before court: GAH! I’m so ready for this to be over. And I don’t just mean court. I mean the whole thing. I’m ready to be healed now, thank you very much. I’m trying to figure out what I can eat so I stop losing weight (that is still …
Arcadia and I walked out of court that day to sunny skies. It was a beautiful winter day, made even more beautiful by the fact that I walked out of that building without the chains that had bound me for nearly two decades. I was free and I felt light. It was the most amazing …
We knew that if Bubba showed up with my family, I would lose custody. That morning on the way to class, my lawyer called to say that Bubba dropped his bid for custody in the wake of the Guardian ad Litem (GAL) and psych evaluator’s reports. I’d agreed to take on the debt and Bubba …
After all of our dealing with the Guardian ad Litem (GAL) and the psych evaluator, I was convinced that I was about to lose custody of my children. My lawyer said there was a good possibility that my family would even travel a thousand miles to testify against me in person and, if they did, …
I had my psychological evaluation (psych eval) a few weeks after our second court date. The judge had ordered them to all be completed by a month before our third court date. I thought that after mine was done, the children’s would follow quickly. Again, I was wrong. I was very nervous about my psych …
Along with journaling, I started writing letters to Luke. They were my way of talking to him. I never had any intention of sending them or sharing them with him. In these letters I said to him everything I knew I would never be able to say to him in real life. I allowed myself …
Hope Wears Heels 