Treun is on vacation. He went across the country to visit his parents as he does twice a year. He left on Sunday and won’t be back until Sunday. I won’t actually see him until Monday since his plane doesn’t get in until really late Sunday night. It’s been a long week so far but thankfully, we are more than half-way through it.
I got Treun to download Skype before he left. I’ve been trying to talk him into it so that he could stay in touch with his daughter better. If they could see each other that way once or twice a week, I think it would do great things for their relationship. But it was only when he was getting ready to leave for a week that he finally put it on his computer so that he could see me.
He wanted to introduce me to his parents. Oh, how this terrified me. I was a nervous wreck meeting his sons, but this is a different level of scared for me. Meeting the parents is not something I really want to do. It was bringing up all sorts of BIG FEELINGS in me and I was just going with it instead of questioning what was going on in my head.
When I finally asked myself what was up with this reaction, it finally hit me. The last time I had to meet parents was when I met Bubba’s parents. It was a nightmare and it remained a nightmare for our entire marriage. They are evil, sadistic people (and I don’t say that lightly). Two weeks after I met them, Bubba and I got engaged and they demanded that I now call them “Mom” and “Dad” instead of “Mr. and Mrs. ex In-Law.” I did not feel comfortable with that yet they demanded it and got angry with Bubba if I didn’t call them by that. Them exerting their will over Bubba and me lasted the rest of our marriage, and I have no doubt they still treat him like they’ve always treated him. I can clearly see where Bubba learned how to abuse.
Now here I was, faced with the prospect of meeting Treun’s parents. Yeah, I was rattled. Until I finally sat down and unpacked it. What it came down to was, “How could Treun be the wonderful man he is if he didn’t have good parents?” We’ve talked about it and his Dad made plenty of mistakes when Treun was growing up. Treun’s parents divorced when he was eleven so that left a mark on Treun. When he became an adult, he talked to his father about it and his Dad made amends for all the mistakes he made during those years.
Treun trusts his Dad and goes to him to work out some of his problems. I’ve seen how much Treun respects his Dad – it isn’t just lip service.
The meeting went well. His step-Mom was cooking dinner and was making something that I made for Treun a couple of weeks ago. She adds one ingredient to hers that I am simply fascinated by. I can’t wait to try this dish her way and told her so. We bonded over food! Both of his parents seemed very nice and I chatted with them a little bit.
Then Treun took me into the bedroom so that we could talk privately. I sat on my couch and did some crafting while he laid on his bed. I don’t know how many times I wanted to reach through the computer and touch his face. He is so dear to me. I can close my eyes and remember how his skin feels under my fingertips. I can run my fingers through his hair and feel him with me. There are times when this incredible sense memory is an advantage. I spent so much time with it being a disadvantage that it is nice to use it for good – to get me through this week while I miss Treun’s physical presence.
Yes, this is a long week. We’ve been together every day for well over a month and him being gone for a week just feels weird. I feel my life speeding back up and some of the calm I experience in his presence going away. My adHd (Yes, I write that like that on purpose) is in full-swing once again. I feel like I’m once again moving at hyper-speed, although now it doesn’t feel as natural. Treun has calmed my being to the point where it is becoming my norm now.
I miss him.